The Dumb Things People Say To Single People (even when they mean well)

I haven’t written in a while. No real excuse other than life is always busy. I did recently launch a blog for work and that has taken some time. I have found myself reading more blogs in hopes of being inspired. Well, it happened. I stumbled upon Single Dad Laughing. Wow! He chose a great name and his posts are fantastic.

I was reading Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s Single by Single Dad Laughing. There were two things to never say that really had me laughing. One was: “From married moms: oh, it sucks that I am going to be a single mom for the next three days while my husband is out of town. From single moms: Oh, I’m sorry. You have to go three days without help while somebody goes somewhere to make some money for you. If you need anything, let me know.” My married mom friends have definitely said this in front of me before. Some even apologize after they realize what they have said. As funny as I found it in his post, I don’t get upset about it. The difference is I am use to it. I’ve been a single mom for nearly 10 years and prior to being divorced, I might as well have been a single mom. I have always done night time routines, homework, bath time, carpools etc. by myself so that is my normal routine. I understand that when you are use to help, it is hard to not have help. So friends, don’t apologize for feeling overwhelmed when your husband is out of town.

The other one that really got me laughing was “There are so many great guys/girls out there.
So, are you saying that I’m not one of them since they’re so readily abundant and I’m still alone?” This has been said to me and is funny to me for several reasons including the obvious part in italics. But what I want to know is: WHERE ARE ALL THESE GREAT GUYS? I can’t say I’m actively looking by any means but even if I were, I wouldn’t know where to look. I work full-time, I have friends, I have a little bit of a social life (well, it’s kind of lame but I get out once in a while) and I haven’t met any great guys in a long time. At least not guys I would consider dating. I’ve met great married guys, I’ve met great single but MUCH younger or older guys, but I have not met great guys who are within 10 years of my age and single. So tell me married people; where are all these great guys? Where are the great guys who are age-appropriate and single? And let me say this… to be a great guy, they have to meet certain guidelines. As I write in a previous post, the guy must not have a criminal record or live with his mom and must have a license and a job. Those are just a few of the things important to me. So if you feel the urge to tell me “there are plenty of fish in the sea” or “there are so many great guys out there,” be sure to tell me where they are and maybe even introduce me. J

Now before any of you ask me if I have tried online dating… I want you to read 10 Things You Should Never Say to an Umarried Woman by The Stir. The author suggests that women respond to that statement with “Eureka! You’re a genius. Can you edumacate me on the compooter, too? Clearly I know nothing.” I will admit it; I have tried online dating but I have never had a real “connection” with anyone I have met. Somehow knowing beforehand that we both like to watch soccer, enjoy kids, like movies and that Mexican is a shared favorite cuisine just doesn’t make sparks fly when we meet.

The other question I love is “Do you think it’s because you are too picky?” As The Stir says, “Perhaps the person who said this thinks a woman should settle. Great advice!” As I stated in my guidelines, yes, I am picky and I am okay with that. I have two children I have to consider any time I date. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t plan on rushing into anything but my kids are my priority and I don’t want to deal with someone’s drug issue or other baggage. My previous post Dating with Tweens explains my thoughts on this further.

Another favorite is “You will meet someone when you least expect it.” Really? I hope this is true because it would be so cool to later tell people I met Mr. Right when he jumped out from behind my shower curtain or he was holding up the bank I was making a deposit at.  Hey, if he’s holding up the bank, he doesn’t have a criminal record yet.

So are there dumb things single people say to married people? If you are single, what is the dumbest thing anyone has said to you?



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