How do you choose between children? I have two children. I have an almost 14-year-old daughter who is finishing up her last year in middle school and an 11-year-old son who is finishing up his last year of elementary school but is in the hospital. My daughter’s 8th grade class leaves for DC tomorrow night and I’m supposed to be on that bus. But my son… What do I do?
My son Joey is in the hospital with unexplained shooting pain in his leg and refuses to put weight on his leg. Doctors are doing test after test to try to figure out what’s going on. I have stayed with him around the clock. My daughter Andi has been passed among family members and friends for the last two weeks. Her routine has been a mess. The last year has been hard on all of us since Joey’s diagnosis of LCH and his hip bone graft. I was looking forward to having time away with her and seeing her have fun with her friends.
Joey will probably be at Cincinnati Children’s the rest of the week. They are talking about admitting him to physical therapy rehab so they can get him walking again. This is assuming they find nothing serious in the testing today. I would obviously stay if they find something serious. But I have friends and family who are willing to stay with him around the clock if I go to D.C.
Not only would a lot of money be lost (did not get insurance on trip – duh! I know) but my daughter would be upset if I didn’t go. Plus she’d worry about her brother. She would try to understand I need to be with him but she is only 14.
I know if I go and something happens, I could jump on a plane immediately. We know that the Histio is not back and that it is not life-threatening. So the chances of a big emergency happening are pretty slim.
So what do I do? I want to hear your thoughts…
P.S. Before being put under for tests today, Joey said “Mom, Andi will only have this trip once in her life. I will probably have at least 10 more procedures. Go with her.”
If you have Joey’s blessing, I’d go with Andi. You have more to gain in your relationship with Andi than you stand to lose with Joey. But only go if you can be present with Andi, and not have your head stuck back here.
Oh wow Gina! Really feel for you. I will say that I was a director of an inpatient rehab facility and during the day no one was allowed to be with the patients. It may be different for pediatrics. But if they do put him there, check with them about visiting hours, etc. That may help with your decision. Also, I would listen to Joey. If he says go, go. And on another note, this is his situation to work out – not being blunt or anything, or hard nosed. I want to help with perspective. If this is a long-term situation for him (God forbid!) then if he kind of does this on his own – the therapy, etc. – he can take ownership of what he can do about it. You might be surprised! Landon can go up there for some diversional activity in the evening. I can talk with him if you would like for me to. Oh my goodness! I know what I tis like to have a torn Mother’s heart!! Good luck!
Thank you for your advise and support.
I think that you have answered your own question. If Joey is ok with you going, and this is not histio, go. He knows you will be thinking of him, he has a huge support system here to fill in for you. Let me know if you need help!!
Thanks for always being there.
No good choice here. Willit create sibling friction and resentment (even subconsciously) if you don’t go? Can you go on a different trip with Andi, just you and her at another date? I don’t envy you this.
Joey is a wise and thoughtful brother.
I agree with the previous posts. Especially the advice to try to be “with” Andi when you are with her. You both deserve to enjoy the experience that this trip can offer. Get on that bus!
I would say to follow your son’s advise. Histio takes such a toll on the entire family but no matter how hard they try sibling feel left out and eventually get resentful. I think this is such a wonderful opportunity for your daughter and you.
Thanks for your support.
Go. Your family and friends WANT to help. It is a gift to them.
Thanks for your support Amy!
I was touched that Joey “voted” for you to go on the trip. That sure shows his courage and the strong family you all are. So thankful prayers are answered for the removal of pain. Our bodies are so amazing and yet so mysterious!
Thank you for the support.