I was about 19 the first, and only time I was offered cocaine. I was at a friend’s apartment sitting at her kitchen table catching up when her two friends asked for a mirror and a spoon. I was confused. What could they want these things for? Then one of the girls pulled out a little capped bottle. She unscrewed the cap and started pouring coke on the mirror. I was FREAKED. What on earth were they doing? I immediately got up and said I had to leave. I rushed out of there with no explanation.

I was not a sheltered teen. I honestly can’t tell you what made me run out of the apartment that day other than I knew I didn’t want to be there. My parents never really had a drug talk with me that I can remember. I didn’t even think about how my parents would react if I did stay or do drugs. I was 19. I was in college. I liked to have fun. But cocaine was off-limits in my mind. It wasn’t something I had ever thought about prior to this day. There was just something inside me that told me this was bad news. I know that if it would have been heroin on that table, next to a needle, I would have probably run out screaming. Or maybe I would have just passed out right there at the idea. My insides would have been screaming more than this is bad news. So why do some of us have that inside of us and others don’t?

Someone told me today that society needs to stop making drugs look cool. I have talked to a few addicts in my life and none of them have ever said that they did heroin to be cool. I don’t think there is anything cool about wrapping a band or a belt around your arm and shooting a needle full of muddy looking drugs in your veins.

I’ve heard people blame the parents of the addict. They insist it must have been a bad upbringing. The parents were too strict or not strict enough. The parents weren’t around or they didn’t give the child the right opportunities. I don’t agree with this at all.

Someone very close to me grew up in a very crazy home. I won’t go into a lot of details but based on her upbringing, she should be in prison for drug dealing or living on the streets. Instead, she decided she wasn’t going to let her childhood define her. She got a college degree, found a good job, owns a home and is doing very well for herself. My boyfriend’s nephew, who passed away last month from an accidental overdose, grew up in a prominent city, attended the number one high school in the state, had a strong Christian background and a large, close family. I know another family with five children. One of the five is addicted to heroin. The other four kids had the same family life and they are doing well for themselves.

So what is it that makes some of us want to run but others stick around and do drugs?

Mental/emotional Illness maybe? Now hear me out. Is it possible that the person is dealing with depression, anxiety or some type of chemical imbalance decides to take a drug out of desperation? They so bad want to feel “normal” or forget whatever is going on in their head that they turn to drugs. They think they have it under control but after a while it becomes an addiction. It becomes their “normal” and they are hooked. Eventually they will lie, steal and do whatever it takes to get their drug.

Is it possible that I’m somewhat “normal” and that’s why I know to run? Hmmm… me normal? But seriously, what do you think it is that makes some of us just say no and others say yes? I want to know so I can hopefully instill the instinct to run in my own children!

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