Tag Archives: bully

We’re Not Famous

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I’m not famous. My children aren’t famous. Neither is my husband. In fact, there isn’t a single famous person in my family or circle of friends. But I still see all of my family members and friends as super stars. Especially my almost 13-year-old son Joey, AKA Super Joey. Joey is known for his strength and knocking Langerhans out.

Super Joey

Super Joey

Joey isn’t muscular or a big guy. In fact, he’s only 5’1 and under 75 pounds. Yet he still knocked out Langerhans, which was pretty amazing since Langerhans is vicious. I’ve gotten to know him over the last few years and he devours people, mostly kids. Nothing is off limits – he’ll go for the bones, organs and even skin, whatever he can do to take to out his victim. Sometimes even death. It takes a lot to be able to stand up to Langerhans and fight back and even more to beat him down. No, Langerhans isn’t some new trendy boys name or a nickname for a terrible bully.

Langerhans – Langerhans Cell Histiocytois – is a horrible rare cancer that my son beat. This disease, often argued by doctors is to whether it is cancer or an autoimmune disease, is ferocious. It ate Joey’s hip bone causing him to need a bone graft, spend months in a wheelchair, go through lots of physical therapy and much more. Two years later, he still deals with chronic bone pain that puts him on crutches or in a wheelchair for weeks at a time. But the good news is, the LCH is gone. The doctors told him he’s whooped it’s butt and they can’t imagine it will ever attack again. Woohoo!

Super Joey

Super Joey

You’d think we’d be celebrating everyday! And we have celebrated. We are truly ecstatic for Joey but not all of our friends have been so lucky. Our 19-year-old friend Ian Anderson, who also isn’t famous, has LCH in his pituitary gland. He’s been through chemo, surgeries and so much more. He’s probably looking at some sort of life-long treatment and/or follow up.

Princess Sophia

Princess Sophia

Our sweet 5-year-old friend Sophia Lopez, who is not famous either, has another form of Histio – Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis. This beautiful 5-year-old has spent most of her life in hospitals. She and her mom have traveled to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital from New York City to get the best care possible. They have been living at the Ronald McDonald House for a year while Sophia’s dad and brothers are back in New York. The men her life travel to Cincinnati as often as they can to see their Princess Warrior who has been through chemo, a bone marrow transplant, multiple surgeries and much much more. But that gets expensive and vacation time runs out.

We also think of our friends the Culley/Marshall family. They aren’t famous either. But their daughter Ellisyn is a hero in my eyes. Langerhans didn’t hold back at all when it attacked Ellisyn. By the time she was diagnosed with LCH, it was too late. Ellisyn lost her battle at 15 months old.

So although we are thrilled for Joey, there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t think about this horrible disease – Histio, Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis, Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis – that has attacked Super Joey as well as some of our friends (we all met as a result of diagnosis – Histio attacks five in a million).

Most people have never heard of Histio. It doesn’t receive government funding for research, there is no sure cure and there is no known cause. We just know it sucks and can kill. I know some people might think I’m horrible for what I’m about to say but… there are MANY days I wish that a famous person or a famous person’s child would get Histio. Yes, I feel horrible for even saying it but hear me out.

Bengal Player Devon Still’s beautiful daughter Leah was diagnosed with Nueroblastoma and over $1 million was raised in an extremely short period of time. This is awesome! The money went to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital cancer research, which is fantastic. I hate that Leah has this horrible disease but it has brought tons of awareness to Nueroblastoma and childhood cancer.

Lauren Hill, the Mount Saint Joseph Basketball player with an inoperable brain turmor, became famous with the help of the media and has now raised more than $324,000 for the Cure Starts Now. It is horrible that Lauren has been stricken with this disease and she has deserved every bit of media attention she has gotten. She is truly an inspiration to all and I believe her strength and courage will help find a cure for this some day. I have followed her story from day one, cried through the ENTIRE basketball game and will be devastated when she passes. I will always remember that brave angel.

joey rareBut again, I often find myself wishing someone famous or their child would get Histio. I don’t want them to go through all the pain and anguish my friends and family have gone through. I just want that famous person to have a voice for all of us. Believe me, the Anderson, Lopez, Culley/Marshall and Holt/Stegner families have a loud voice. We have been on local media, held fundraisers and educated people but none of us our famous. We don’t have the outlet or the reach that someone famous has. We need a famous person to raise awareness for Histio, to raise funds for research, to help the families fighting this horrible disease and to encourage others to remember the angels we have lost.

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Note: Please contact me at gina5620@gmail.com to learn more about Histio or find out how you can help… You don’t have to be famous. 🙂

Where does Kid on Kid Violence End?

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I know this post is going to stir up a lot of emotions and we might not all agree on what I have to say but that’s okay. As you might know, I worked as a reporter for 10 years. I had to write stories about the Ryle student who killed his family and then held his class hostage and the shooting at Columbine School. I remember everyone talking about both of these incidents for weeks after. The Ryle student shocked the community and the Columbine incident shocked the nation. Many other incidents have happened since.

Now three children have died, and two were injured, at Chardon High School near Cleveland, Ohio, only a few hours from my home town and I don’t hear anyone but the media talking about it. Are we so immune to this type of stuff now that we don’t even discuss? Or are we so mortified that this could happen that we try to not to think about it?

The media keeps bringing up whether or not the kid was bullied. Did bullying drive T.J. Lane to do this? And if he was bullied, does it really justify opening fire on other children? Lane did not even attend Chardon, instead attending nearby Lake Academy, which is for students with academic or behavioral problems. So was he choosing to be around people who were allegedly bullying him? People he could have avoided. And how did someone who is not a student enter this school with a gun and knife on him? That truly concerns me. I would hope someone who is not a student would not be able to enter my child’s school.

My daughter was hit several times by a boy in the fourth grade. I do not believe the schools did everything they could and I was outraged by this boy hitting my child. However, my daughter never thought once to turn to violence. I was so frustrated at one point that I gave her permission to just clock him (she’s frisky for as little as she is) but she refused. My son gets teased from time to time because he is much more of an intellectual than an athlete. However, I have given him the skills and words to deal with this. For example, if a child picks on him for not throwing the ball as far as someone else, he might just say “well I’m glad you can throw the ball far, but I’m not sure how much that will help you when I’m your boss in 15 years.”

I realize bullying can get intense and cause children to want to commit suicide or hurt the one doing the bullying. Parents definitely need to teach their child not to bully. However, we as parents are responsible to teach our children how to deal with this. And it is our responsibility to make the schools accountable. So many schools want to ignore the issue but they must deal with it or it can elevate to school violence or suicide.

I sometimes wonder if the schools don’t do everything they should because bullying has become such a common word and is used to describe any type of confrontation between kids. In this article, http://communitypress.cincinnati.com/article/C2/20120301/NEWS/303010041/CNE-student-sent-ER-after-bullying-incident?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7C%7Cs, Rhandi Morrison’s mother claims Rhandi was bullied. She was injured in a fight and had to go to the ER. However, Rhandi called the other girl a name and then was hit. Is that really bullying or is that just a high school girl fight? I really want to know what you think. I have taught my children not to talk about other people (even when their friends are) and to not name call. I have also explained that if they do, they better be willing to deal with how the other child takes it. I hope my kids listen for their sake.

I have taught my kids to always stand up for themselves with their words and for their friends. My son often comes home and tells me about a boy in his class who is teasing other kids. He knows that I will immediately ask if he stood up for them. I encourage him to tell the boy that it isn’t nice or ask him why he is bullying the other child.

I have often found that some children, especially girls, don’t even realize they are bullying until they are called out on it. I don’t think most kids go to school and think “I should bully Suzy today.” So teach your kids to call them out on it! If they are made aware at a young age, maybe they will quit doing it before things get ugly. It also seems that the schools have bullying seminars but they only discuss how to deal with bullying. Parents and schools need to talk to kids about not being a bully.

Family Friendly Cincinnati (http://familyfriendlycincinnati.com/2010/05/06/is-your-child-being-bullied/) and WLWT (http://www.wlwt.com/backtoschool/19770037/detail.html) have posted great stories on bullying.

Many, including Lane’s family, are saying the incident at Chardon High School had nothing to do with bullying. So did Lane just choose to kill that day for no reason? CNN reported that Lane’s household was one filled with violence and that both of his parents had been arrested for domestic violence. His father had also been charged with assaulting a police officer and served time in prison after trying to suffocate a woman by holding water flowing from a hose over her mouth and nose so she could not breathe. Filing for divorce from the teen’s mother in 2002, his father was charged with attempted murder, felonious assault and kidnapping. Lane has been charged with assault before. So instead of people saying he killed because he was bullied, should they be saying he killed because he was taught violence was okay?

It looks as if 17-year-old Lane is going to be charged as an adult. I completely agree with this decision. He is an avid hunter, which makes me assume that he knows a little about gun safety, which includes not taking a gun to a school. He got a gun, then walked or drove to a school he does not attend, walked in and shot a group of boys. One boy was trying to get away and he gunned him down. This was premeditated murder. Thank goodness for the gym teacher who chased Lane out of the school. Otherwise, more could have been killed or injured.

The front of Chardon High School

And at what point will the parents be held liable? They taught this teen that violence was okay. Mothers, we teach our daughters how to treat men and how they should be treated. Fathers, you treat your daughters how they should be treated and how your sons should treat women. We also teach our sons how they should be treated. If you beat your spouse or children, you are teaching your child that is okay. If you verbally abuse your spouse or children, you are teaching your child that is okay. This also applies to parents who are divorced. If you constantly talk down to the mother or father of your child, whether you are married or not, you are teaching your kid it is okay to be talked to that way. I don’t know if Lane’s parents should face prison time for what their almost adult son did but parents need to take ownership of their role in these kinds of situations.

This also has me thinking of gun safety again (see previous blog: http://wp.me/p1VdOI-2Y). Some say guns don’t kill, people do. I say people can’t shoot someone dead without a gun. I’m not saying no one should ever be allowed to have a gun. I just think we need stricter guidelines.

So why don’t I see anyone talking about this tragedy on Facebook, hear my co-workers talk about it at lunch or my friends asking me if I heard? Why aren’t we talking about how the rest of the kids who were there that day, the other two shot and those who witnessed it, are going to deal with this for the rest of their lives? It truly seems like everyone, but the media, is acting like it didn’t happen. This is a terrible thing that impacts everyone no matter how close you live to Cleveland, Ohio. It shows us that this can happen in any school. Someone who doesn’t even attend the school can just walk in and gun people down. What are we going to do about it to ensure nothing like this happens again?

Please share your thoughts. It is okay if we all have different opinions, just be respectful.