Letting Our Babies Grow Up

I started this blog years ago as a single mother of two tweens, hence the name raising2tweens. My daughter Andi turned 17 last month and will enter her senior year this fall. My son Joey is 14, going to Germany without his parents for three weeks this summer and will start his freshman year in August. Totally cliche but wow, where did the time go?!?!

These two photos represent how I still see my little girl.

But this is what everyone else sees.

 

Andi is in ACT boot camp this week and will take the test on Saturday. We are doing a college visit Friday. Actually, a lot of this summer will be spent visiting colleges, thinking and talking about her future and applying for scholarships and college.

We will also spend a lot of time trying to let her be more independent. She’s 17. Although she will probably go to a local college, we have to teach her to be responsible for herself, how to pay bills, to do homework without being told, to go to class when it’s technically an option and just take care of herself. This is hard as a parent. It’s hard to let her drive or go out with her friends and not worry. My husband Nick and I want to implement so many restrictions and rules but we have to remember that we really only have one year left to teach her to be a responsible adult. This is the year we need to let her try and fail and try and succeed. It’s this year because we will be there to catch her when she falls and help her get on the right track again. We can’t be helicopter parents this year and then just expect her to do it all on her own next year. So here we go…

Teaching her to be responsible for herself doesn’t mean there are no rules. Let’s face it, there are rules and expectations in life whether you are 5, 12, 17, 35 or 90. It’s going to be all about balance.

Andi already has a job and a car she paid for but I’ve always managed her finances. This year we will change that. She will have to learn to budget her money, save and pay her share of the car insurance. I will also have her do her own taxes for 2016 with little guidance from me.

She will still have a curfew but I have to trust her enough to make it a little later and allow her to be responsible for her actions. She still has to tell us where she is going, for safety purposes, but again trust is key. Andi has always had migraine issues that are triggered by exhaustion and bad food choices. We have limited activity in the past due to this. It’s time to let her manage this on her which might mean a few extra trips to the migraine clinic but hopefully she will quickly figure out how to care for herself.

This year is the year to teach her basic car and house maintenance. It’s time to make sure she knows how to cut the grass and use a weed eater. It’s even time to teach her how to get a spider, stink bug or centipede out of her room all on our her own room without screaming like a nut.

Letting go is really difficult but like I said, now is the time to let our almost adult fall so we are there to pick her back up. If we wait until she is on her own, there is no one to dust her off. Now hopefully we’ll have the strength to actually do these things and start to see her the way everyone else does.

andi drives

I’d love to hear how the experienced parents “let go.”

 

Our First College Visit

With our daughter finishing her junior year, it’s time to look into colleges. Although Andi doesn’t plan to attend Illinois State University, we scheduled our first visit for ISU in Normal, Illinois. We chose this because our 14-year-old son Joey hopes to attend there for its well known business program and the circus, as an extracurricular activity, they offer. We planned the trip around Gamma Phi Circus’ spring show. We also thought visiting a school she didn’t have her heart on would give Andi an idea of what to look for in other colleges.

We weren’t quite sure where to go when we arrived on campus so we asked a student in the parking lot. Instead of just trying to tell us where to go, she walked us to the building even though it was out of her way. That was definitely a great first impression. The visit started with information about the campus, including tuition contest, types of extracurricular activities, are information and other specifics to the University.

andi and joey

The campus was absolutely gorgeous and very active with students playing Frisbee, riding bikes and walking around campus.

It is common for student groups to leave to promote events by writing on the sidewalks in chalk.

circus chalk

After touring the campus, we met with members of Gamma Phi Circus, the oldest collegiate circus program in the United States. This an extracurricular activity but does require students to be committed by training several times a week. Joey currently trains three days a week with Circus Mojo in Ludlow, Ky. so he will be ready for this commitment. GPC starts training the in the fall for its spring show, which we were able to see.

20160415_213309circus 5circus 4circus 1

My kids, along with a couple other kids from Circus Mojo, were able to meet with the performers after. They were incredible nice to the kids, letting them ask tons of questions about the Gamma Phi Circus and college life.

circus 3

I have to say that our first college visit was a success.