Tag Archives: growing up

My First Friends, My Cousins

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19. It’s not the number of my old soccer jersey. 19 isn’t my house address. It’s not my lucky number. 19 is how many grandchildren my grandparents Gino and Millie had. They had six children, all of whom got married and created 19 total grandchildren. Those grandchildren have created 41 great grand children (two more on the way). We all still get together for holidays and special events at each other’s homes. It’s crazy, loud and overcrowded but I love it.

cam wedding

My cousin Tony and his beautiful wife Cam’s wedding.

We lost our grandparents in 1992, my senior year of high school. It was pretty devastating for me. Luckily they visit me in my dreams a lot. When things get really hard I will ask them (in my head) to visit me. Sometimes it takes days or even weeks but they always show up. The dreams are always happy and usually have a very clear message. I’ve been begging for a visit for the last week or so. It hasn’t happened yet but I know they will show up soon. Our family lost someone in late February for the first time since 1992. We lost my uncle Paul, who was also my God Father. His passing hit all of us very hard. He was too young, only in his 60’s, and a great man but it was more than that. We will miss him dearly but it was also a dose of reality. We are going to lose family members and that sucks.

grandma and grandpa

Grandpa Gino and Grandma Millie

But this post isn’t really about loss as much as it is about what we have. 19. Although there is probably at least a 15 year age difference between the oldest grand kid and the youngest, we all grew up together. I spent hours and hours playing with the cousins closer to my age and hours on end babysitting the others.

cousins

12 of the 19 at Christmas a few years ago.

I’ve been dragged by my ponytail down a hallway, locked in a closet while babysitting and witnessed the collapse of an 8,000 gallon above ground pool with probably 15 kids in it and another 10 nearby (a whole other blog post). There’s been broken bones, trashed houses, heads slammed in windows over Kool-Aid and so much more. It might sound crazy to you but I wouldn’t change a thing!

There has also been a lot of play dates, sleepovers, weddings, birthdays and holidays that were absolutely amazing. The 19 of us aren’t just cousins, we are friends. The girls, who are greatly outnumber, have done girl trips and fun nights out. We get together the first Saturday in December every year for what we call “Ravioli Night.” Sixty to seventy of us gather at my aunt and uncle’s home to make homemade ravioli, a family tradition. We make some to eat that night and freeze the rest to eat on Christmas Eve when we all come together again. The adults are definitely outnumbered by all the great grand kids ranging from only a few weeks old to 22. It’s complete and utter chaos… and fantastic!

ravioli night 2017

A few of the great grandchildren at Ravioli Night

cam shower

A family bridal shower.

We celebrate each other every chance we get. Two of the 19 have moved away for jobs but the rest of us live within about a 10 minute radius. We take care of each other’s kids and each other when needed. And really, it’s not just the 19 of us. In our family, there seems to be no generation gap once you hit a certain age. The adult cousins are on the same level as the 60 something old aunts and uncles, which is awesome because we have all become friends as well. Our spouses were all in for a shock when they first started coming around but they are integrated into the madness of a large family now as well. All of us always have each other’s backs.

italian fest

Trying to get a family photo at the Newport Italian Fest.

I was reminded just how much we take care of each other when my uncle got sick in February and then after he passed. I wouldn’t change my big, loud, crazy Italian family for anything in the world. The 19 of us are so lucky to have each other and we are lucky to have so many loving children, aunts, uncles and of course our parents.

My High School Senior Looks Back on her Four Years

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Four years ago, when Andi was an 8th grader scheduling for her senior year, I wrote a post called Transitioning to High School. This inspired Andi to write her own post called Andi’s Version of the High School Transition. I showed her that old post last night and she decided to write an update (I suggest reading the original first by clicking here):

Well my mom’s bloggies, I made it thru. I should have been scared when i wrote that the first time. High school was scary, I probably was scared and just lied. In general, I was afraid of the upperclassmen and what everyone would think of me. I wanted to be cool and popular, unlike myself in middle school. I tried too hard and was intimidated by other girls in my grade and the grades above me.

Beginning of junior year i realized that it didn’t matter what they thought of me and I stopped wearing makeup everyday and trying to look stylish all the time. I learned to love myself more. Now that i am the “headmaster” (as my past self called it) of the school i realize that when I was a freshman the seniors probably didn’t care about what i wore or how i looked bc I sure as heck don’t pay attention to the freshman. I also realized that nobody is going to remember that one day I went to school without makeup and greasy hair. I learned to embrace the way I look. I wish I could tell my freshman self all of these things because she’d probably poop her pants if she knew I don’t wear foundation every day to school, heck sometimes i don’t even wear makeup around the boy I like. When I think about my freshman and sophomore self I don’t hate it, I just wish she didn’t hate herself.

As far as classes go I’m still taking Spanish. I moved all the way to AP, and let me tell you, lamp is not el lampo. Spanish is definitely difficult. I stopped taking journalism after freshman year because I wanted to take other classes & it wasn’t really my forte. If you are sending your child into high school next year I definitely recommend taking regular classes & ignore the pressure for AP, ESPECIALLY regular social studies courses. AP world would be the death of your child. AP English is really no biggy as long as you already understand grammar because they don’t really teach that in AP.

Even though I was annoyed about how worried my ma was about me going to high school, I’m thankful for it because there were times I was happy I was her little princess. 

Yes, I was teary eyed when Andi sent this to me last night. It shows how much she has grown, not just physically but as a person in the last four years. She’s a young woman now. She plans to major in social work at Northern Kentucky University this fall. She might even minor in Spanish…

Andi’s graduation
She might be almost 14 but has the heart of a 4 year old
Andi Pandi the Panda Bear
This Diva doesn’t get dirty

Letting Our Babies Grow Up

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I started this blog years ago as a single mother of two tweens, hence the name raising2tweens. My daughter Andi turned 17 last month and will enter her senior year this fall. My son Joey is 14, going to Germany without his parents for three weeks this summer and will start his freshman year in August. Totally cliche but wow, where did the time go?!?!

These two photos represent how I still see my little girl.

But this is what everyone else sees.

 

Andi is in ACT boot camp this week and will take the test on Saturday. We are doing a college visit Friday. Actually, a lot of this summer will be spent visiting colleges, thinking and talking about her future and applying for scholarships and college.

We will also spend a lot of time trying to let her be more independent. She’s 17. Although she will probably go to a local college, we have to teach her to be responsible for herself, how to pay bills, to do homework without being told, to go to class when it’s technically an option and just take care of herself. This is hard as a parent. It’s hard to let her drive or go out with her friends and not worry. My husband Nick and I want to implement so many restrictions and rules but we have to remember that we really only have one year left to teach her to be a responsible adult. This is the year we need to let her try and fail and try and succeed. It’s this year because we will be there to catch her when she falls and help her get on the right track again. We can’t be helicopter parents this year and then just expect her to do it all on her own next year. So here we go…

Teaching her to be responsible for herself doesn’t mean there are no rules. Let’s face it, there are rules and expectations in life whether you are 5, 12, 17, 35 or 90. It’s going to be all about balance.

Andi already has a job and a car she paid for but I’ve always managed her finances. This year we will change that. She will have to learn to budget her money, save and pay her share of the car insurance. I will also have her do her own taxes for 2016 with little guidance from me.

She will still have a curfew but I have to trust her enough to make it a little later and allow her to be responsible for her actions. She still has to tell us where she is going, for safety purposes, but again trust is key. Andi has always had migraine issues that are triggered by exhaustion and bad food choices. We have limited activity in the past due to this. It’s time to let her manage this on her which might mean a few extra trips to the migraine clinic but hopefully she will quickly figure out how to care for herself.

This year is the year to teach her basic car and house maintenance. It’s time to make sure she knows how to cut the grass and use a weed eater. It’s even time to teach her how to get a spider, stink bug or centipede out of her room all on our her own room without screaming like a nut.

Letting go is really difficult but like I said, now is the time to let our almost adult fall so we are there to pick her back up. If we wait until she is on her own, there is no one to dust her off. Now hopefully we’ll have the strength to actually do these things and start to see her the way everyone else does.

andi drives

I’d love to hear how the experienced parents “let go.”